Komedia Lobby, Gardner Street

In case you thought I was only going to review restaurant toilets, you were DEAD WRONG. Today I’m looking at the toilets in the lobby area of Komedia, which I used as a result of attending a comedy show in their smaller comedy room. The shows I’ve attended previously have always been in the main room, and it sure was a relief to not have to use THAT restroom. Kind of narsty.

So here’s what I found:

The general situation is that there are four? (can't remember. Shoot me.) single-person toilets in the hallways just off the lobby and snack bar. One is labeled URINALS (that would be YERRR-in-als for those who haven’t figured out I’m American yet), one is an accessible toilet with baby changing facilities, and the rest are unisex.

Are they easy to find? (5/5)

There aren’t any signs leading you to these toilets from far away, as far as I could tell, but if you are going into the comedy club, you have to walk by them to get there, and if you’re at the snack bar, they are just right there. So there isn’t much need for signage besides what’s on the doors, which is very clear.

Does everything work (lights, toilets, sinks, hand dryer, etc.) and is everything in good repair? (10/10)

Everything in the stall I used worked fine. No gripes here.

Are there enough supplies (toilet paper, paper towels, soap)? (10/10)

There was enough toilet paper, soap, and even a dispenser on the wall for women’s hygiene bags. I’ve seen a number of these things in restrooms here and there, but I think this may be the first time I’ve seen on with any bags in it. Incroyable.

Is it clean and dry? (8/10)

      It wasn’t the cleanest bathroom I’ve been in—the floors could have used a sweep and mop and I think there was some dust and stuff, but overall it was pretty presentable and mostly dry, as well.

Does it smell okay? (8/8)

Shockingly, there was no smell. It’s always sort of a surprise when you go into a self-contained mini-bathroom like this and it’s not a complete olfactory nightmare.

Are there family and accessible facilities? (10/10)

Yes, one of the options has wheelchair accessible and baby changing facilities. No deduction.

Are there enough toilets for the user population? (4/8)

      I imagine that if you’re using the toilet during a show and probably even before a show, but inevitably there is going to be some waiting when everyone files out of the room, having had a few boozes in the last couple hours but holding it so as not to miss part of the show. Thus, I had to wait for a few minutes, and when I got out, there were people still waiting.

Is there somewhere to put jacket, bags, etc.? (0/8)

Egregious oversight! No hook or anything to put a jacket or bag. Man, that irks me so.

Are there trash cans? Are they full? (8/8)

I assume each stall had its own small trash can and, with the exception of the urinal room, its own container for pads and tampons.

How’s the décor? (5/8)

      The internal and external décor of these bathrooms was fine, I guess. I’m not a huge fan of a bright red wall, though, especially with black doors. Are we in a BDSM dungeon or what?  Nothing wrong with a grey wall on the inside, though. Flooring was not memorable. Maybe it was black tile or something. I'm sort of kicking myself for not taking pictures of the lower half of the room. Jeez.

Is there a mirror? (4/4)

      There was a medium sized mirror in there, perfectly adequate given the space.

Is the stall spacious? (2/3)

      Given that there’s no need to get a buggy or wheelchair into the space, it seems acceptable, but not roomy. You’d think they’d use some of the space to, I don’t know, install a coat hook, though.

Are there vending machines? (0/2)

No vending machines for emergency products, or any other products.

Are the water and dryer temperatures okay? (0/2)

      Strangely, the hot water was left on when I got in there, which of course isn’t the fault of the establishment, but of some shithead customer. However, I am docking the full pointage for having NO GODDAMN MIXER TAP. Honestly, people. Industry has revolutionized.

Is there a separate area for makeup, waiting, or other activities? (0/3)

      If you’re doing anything but toileting (as opposed to toilette-ing) or washing hands, you are probably wasting other people’s time who are waiting. And of course they are waiting in a hallway where a bunch of people are trying to pass through, to boot. So you know, shit or get off the pot.

How’s the soap? (no bonus)

They did have bottled soap, but it was boring.

Are there freebies? (no bonus)

I suspect any kind of freebie in an establishment where people are drinking and laughing would get either taken in bulk by a small minority of people, or just destroyed somehow. No freebies.

Is there advertising? (-2)

There is advertising for Komedia’s comedy shows, which is to be expected and which frankly adds to the otherwise boring wall space. I am taking away a point for the sign telling people not to smoke or vape in there. I’m sure there’s a reason for it, but we’re overworded these days. Maybe a no smoking icon would be better.

Is there an attendant? (no deduction)

That would be super awks in a single-user toilet space.

Okay, so the total score is:

72/100

That’s a decent score for a bathroom that I had to wait for and that didn’t allow me to take off my coat. I think what saved it was being fully functional and reasonably well maintained, as any public restroom should be. Not too shabby.

Next loo up for review: Moshimo Japanese restaurant.

Don’t forget to put the seat down!

Foodilic North Street

Now up for review is Foodilic, a buffet restaurant on North St. in downtown Brighton. This is a two-floor establishment, and we sat in the very tight ground floor seating area, near the buffet, which is in the front window area. Everything was pretty good, with mostly vegetarian fare, although I wouldn’t say it was fantastic. Can’t beat the price, though, and the drinks menu was quite impressive, with lots of fresh juices and sparkling drinks on offer, plus coffees, teas, and the usual nonalcoholic stuff.

Bowel moving on… Foodilic has what appears to be a thrown-together single toilet in the corner of the room, so it’s a no-frills, self-contained, unisex sort of deal. It does have a door, though, so that was a relief.

After some second guessing of my points system last time, I have updated the values, so let’s see where that takes us.

Is it easy to find? (1/4)

I wasn’t really sure this place even had a restroom, as there was no indication on the ground floor. Major points deduction for having to ask an employee—she directed me up the ludicrously narrow staircase to the upper level seating area. Once up there, the toilet sign was in plain view. I didn't take a picture because of a lack of space--see below.

Does everything work (lights, toilets, sinks, hand dryer, etc.)? (10/10)

Everything that was in there did function, although I was disappointed to find no hand dryer available—more on that later.

Are the facilities in good repair (beyond everything functioning)? (7/8)

Everything in there seemed basically fine—some minor issues with chipped tiles and messy workmanship.

Are there enough supplies (toilet paper, paper towels, soap)? (2/10)

I was pretty irked to find that in addition to there being no hand dryer, there were also no paper towels, so I had to dry my hands on my jeans. To make the experience even worse, the toilet paper was damp—probably from people taking some of it with wet hands after washing. Toiletiquette, people!

Is it clean and dry? (7/10)

It was dry in there, but a bit dusty and grimy. The restaurant seems like it’s probably busy all the time, so I imagine the staff don’t have time to get in there to clean and replenish very often.

Does it smell okay? (8/8)

No smell! Huzzah!

Are there family and accessible facilities? (0/10)

I think anyone in a wheelchair or with a buggy would struggle to even get in the restaurant, let alone up the one-person-width staircase and into the little cubicle. This is definitely not a restroom for anyone with anything beyond the barest of standard personal need.

Are there enough toilets for the user population? (4/8)

As it happened, I didn’t have to wait in line for the toilet, but someone had to wait for me. In a busy, centrally located, affordable restaurant with a capacity of something like 50-60, I imagine there is a fair amount of waiting. People seated upstairs have the advantage of being able to keep an eye on the situation from their seats, however.

Is there somewhere to put jacket, bags, etc.? (0/8)

To my chagrin, there is no place to put any stuff. As this is a restaurant, most people could probably leave stuff at their table, but any woman needing to bring her bag into the toilet would struggle to find a clean and dry place to put it.

Are there trash cans? Are they full? (7/8)

There is one trash can with a cover in the room, and since I had nothing to throw away, I couldn’t tell if it was full. Probably not, considering the lack of towels. The size of the can seemed adequate for the room, but one of those sanitary trash cans for women would probably improve things.

How’s the décor? (3/6)

I was pretty surprised at the décor of this place, considering what an afterthought it seemed to be. The tiles are decent, and the wooden mirror is pretty cool. No other touches, however, and the rest of the room does look a bit shabby.

Is there a mirror? (4/4)

The mirror provided is quite large considering the space. No missing it.

Is the stall spacious? (1/3)

You can definitely get in here and do what you need to do without much fuss, but if you have anything with you, you’re out of luck. It was hard to even get photos of the place, really.

Are there vending machines? (0/1)

Someone pointed out to me that even if vending machines look dumb and are expensive, they can be helpful, especially if you’re a woman who needs a tampon or pad. So I’ve allotted a point for this category. But there are no vending machines in this one.

Are the water and dryer temperatures okay? (1/1)

Although the sink doesn’t include a hot water tap, the restaurant has added a water heater, which is a pretty stand-up thing to do. So you can make sure the water temp is to your liking. Party.

Is there a separate area for makeup, waiting, or other activities? (0/1)

Sadly, there’s barely enough room to toilet and wash, let alone do anything else. This is less applicable in a one-room bathroom without stalls, but I’m including the area outside the door in this assessment. There’s not even really any room to wait in line without getting in the way of staff members.

How’s the soap? (no bonus)

This is one of those places that for some reason provides both a wall dispenser and a bottle of liquid soap. But neither was anything special, aw.

Are there freebies? (no bonus)

As if!

Is there advertising? (no deduction)

No advertising.

Is there an attendant? (no deduction)

Saved from the horrors of human interaction!

Okay, so this wasn’t the greatest bathroom in the world. If I were giving it an offhand star rating, I’d say it would get something like just over two out five. Let’s see if my tweaking of last week’s point values was successful. The total is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you, BTW, since I rate as I write.

Total: 55/100

Okay, so that’s a bit more accurate than my last rating, I think. Almost three stars. Because this was slightly less than adequate in terms of facilities, but had a couple of nicer touches, I guess that puts it slightly above the 2.5 stars mark.

So in summary, if you need to use the toilet at Foodilic, it’s pretty much fine, but nothing to write home on damp toilet paper about.

Coming up next: Komedia’s unisex lobby toilet, w00t.

Pooedbye for now!